Well, Christmas came and went. I never got the cards out. I suppose I never intended to get the cards out since I never actually bought the cards. I get so conflicted about the whole Christmas card thing every year. Here's why. I'm thinkin' anybody who really cares how I am already knows how I am. I see them, email 'em, they read this blog, or they know people who know me and they can ask, so sending them a card seems superfluous. There are people that I only communicate with at Christmas but no other time of the year and that seems disingenuous.
And then there's the "What do I say?" thing. Do I write a letter? If I DO write a letter, do the recipients expect more from me because I am a writer? And then there's the tone tightrope. If things were bad, I don't want to depress folks. If they were good, I don't want to brag. And the last thing I want to do is bore anyone. Now last year, after Bethany and Derick went through their trials and renewed their vows, Micah joined the family and Luke invited Jesus into his life, I had something to say. This year not so much.
Now, don't get me wrong, some people can strike just the right tone in these letters. My friends Anne and Brenda manage to do it year after year. I am glad I read what they had to say even if I already knew it all. But, the people who write their letters in the third person, as if they are were written by some ghost writer, are way down on my list of fun to read. And come on people, if you don't know how to spell check before you print, cross me off your list, will ya? But two years ago my outrageously funny friend in Illinois sent her letter from the perspective of the family dog. I laughed until I cried!
Usually I wait until the week after Christmas or maybe until I have packed everything away to read these letters. One acquaintance actually waits until the first week in January to send their family letter. I have to figure they want you to finish reading it by the end of the year, and it nearly takes that long! So, it was with morbid curiosity -- you know, the kind that makes you look at gross stuff you know you don't want to see, but can't help yourself (think way overweight women in spandex leggings at the hardware store) -- that we undertook the reading of the annual holiday newsletter from hell (it actually comes from Texas).
I was amazed, puzzled and a little freaked out by the huge letter they sent two years ago where the guy included a four paragraph description AND PHOTO of how he pollinates cactus with his cat's whiskers WHILE they are still attached to the cat. This year's letter was even more humongous: FIVE, SINGLE SPACED, LEGAL SIZED PAGES WITH 1/4 INCH MARGINS ALL AROUND!
So, I find myself asking what sort of person thinks anyone but their own mother would want to read that level of minutiae about their life. My answer? Only someone who is like, totally CLUELESS!
Wanna know how we're doing? In a nutshell: When oil was $150 a barrel last summer we went to Maui with the fam. Now that it's $35 we're moving in with the kids!
Happy New Year
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4 comments:
You have probably warped that child for life. I'll see him on Montel Williams one day in a show titled, "My Grandma collected boogers for me."
Ooops, that comment was for the boogie woogie blog.
Re: your Christmas card. Thanks for clearing it up. Think about all those who thought you crossed them off your Christmas card list. Of course next year think of all those who won't send you one. It is that old way of tit for tat, or canceling out each other if you will. I shall remain true and faithful so you have a little something of humor to read.
Hilarious! That laugh was good enough. No Christmas card needed!
5 pages single spaced is insane! We always send one out, and hubby writes it with his creative, humorous ONE PAGE flair. I LOVE getting everyone else's....as long as they're not a day by day description of the year - even if it's someone I keep up with regularly. And I have a scrapbook of all the family photos we get each year.
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